


Assholes are Bad For Your Health

by mush_r00m



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Broken Bones, Casual Sex, F/M, Hate Sex, I'll add more as I go I promise, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Masturbation, Slow Burn, There's like the slightest bit of side Hux
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28006545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mush_r00m/pseuds/mush_r00m
Summary: It's your new job, you're enjoying it for the most part, but you just can't stop running into Kylo Ren. He saves your life and gets really close while doing so and stupid you catches feelings. They're really no more than unbridled lust but, holy hell, is it strong. And then he gets a different squeeze but has the audacity to tease you still. Feelings, sex and tempers ensue.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. New Assignment

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on here, definitely isn't perfect and it will probably improve the more chapters I post and the more into the story we get. Hopefully you bare with me. Also if there's any egregious grammar mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them for the benefit of everyone else reading :)  
> P.S.- I'll update every couple days for sure. I've got nothing better to do than write this

You'd gotten into the Academy as soon as you were of age. It was still a relatively ew line of work young people could go into, the first order only having been around a few years as far as you were aware. You were one of the only females at the top of both mathematics and engineering physics, eventually graduating fifth in your class, only behind a few geniuses and guys with good influence. You weren't didn't care though. Your marks were still near perfect and you were snatched up immediately for a high demand job. You were a Lieutenant when you graduated but the position you were picked up for promoted to Captain right off the bat. You were going to be in administrative work despite being a math and physics major but you didn’t really mind. It sounded like an entry level position from the description anyways so no big deal. You were boarded onto a transport shuttle from the academy to your new home, the Finalizer. You climbed off the shuttle and went to one of the receiving 'troopers. 

“Name.” He asked, bored, without looking up. 

“L/N.” He typed something into his data pad and then tapped and then a slip of paper shot out of the device. He looked up to hand it to you but paused. 

“Oh, heh, hello there.” You raised your eyebrows. 

“Hi.” You said simply, cautious. You reached forward and plucked the paper from his fingers. 

“Sorry. We just don't get a lot of pretty new faces around here, y'know?" You nodded vaguely, just wanting to move along. "Anyway, the first number is the floor, second is the wing, third is the room number.” You nodded, a little weirded out. 

“Thank you.” You turned away from him, shaking off the encounter, headed toward the elevators. You found your way pretty easily. You were in the officers wing and you’d found a helpful lieutenant to show you to your quarters. He smiled at you and you smiled back before disappearing inside. You set up your data pad, unpacked your things and then reported to your supervisor at the scheduled time. There wasn’t a name, just an office number. You left with your paperwork and found the office just in time. You were just about to knock when the door slid open and you heard angry voices. You peered inside, worried of hearing something you weren’t supposed to but also anxious to meet your supervisor on time.

Through a smaller, separate office was a larger office with expensive furnishings and a busy desk. Standing in front of the desk, though, were two men. Both quite tall, the one facing away from you had a slightly smaller frame but still broad shouldered and intimidating. What really sent a thrill down your spine though was the red hair of the man facing away and the mask of the man, or thing, facing you. You recognized that red hair as General Hux and the mask as widely feared, by you as well, Commander Ren. You looked at the office number and then the number outside the office. Nope, you got it right. The words stopped and you felt two pairs of eyes on you, prompting you to look back to both of them. The General had turned to look at you and the Commanders mask was trained on you as well. Your lips parted and you acted like you were going to say something but then you didn’t. Then you tried again and said quietly, 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” The General shook his head, eyes still boring into you. 

“You didn’t interrupt anything vital, come in.” His words should’ve been reassuring but they were said in a curt, authoritative tone. You stepped in and he shut the door behind you with a press of a button. “Why are you here?” He asked. You took a couple steps forwards and handed him your paperwork. 

“I don’t know why I’m here other than I’ve been assigned an administration position and you’re my supervisor.” He flipped through the pages while the Commander looked over his shoulder. After a few moments of silence, the Commander spoke, deep and crackling through his voice modulator. 

“A math and a science graduate with honors and she’s going to be your secretary?” The sarcasm was biting. “Care to lecture me again on how first rate your booking system is?” Without even looking up the General said, 

“Get out,” in the most frightening tone you think you’ve ever heard. The Commander wasn't fazed, chuckling meanly as he left without another word, a chill running up your spine as his analyzing eyes raked over you as he left. As soon as the door was shut, the General looked up at you. 

“I apologize for the oversight but until the next reassignment period you are stuck here.” You nodded. 

“I understand, sir.” He put the papers on his desk and said, 

“If while you’re here you enjoy your duties, you will have the option to stay.” You nodded again. 

“Thank you sir.” He looked back at you. 

“But, concerning your duties now, you are, in layman’s terms, my secretary. You’ll do paperwork and run tedious errands so I don’t have to do them.” You nodded. 

“Yes sir.” You were both silent, looking at each other. You maintained eye contact for a few seconds before you had to break away. You could feel the pink tinge on your cheeks and your eyes flicked around the office to look at anything but him. 

“You’ll start tomorrow. Everything else you need should be on your data pad.” You nodded and gave him a small smile. 

“Thank you. Have a good day sir.”

In the first week, you whacked your head on your desk and tripped on the General's foot, having to catch yourself on a console. As embarrassing as these events were, you settled into the position and it turned out you were the perfect fit for it. A perfect fit for the General's workload and you just had a personality that cooperated very well with General Hux's and the duties that involved speaking and communicating with other. The General also seemed to be consistently surprised by your intellect in the beginning. You felt a swell of pride in your chest every time he gave you that look that admitted he had underestimated your abilities to do a specific something. You were really enjoying the position you'd gotten and you were quite happy in the First Order.


	2. Three Strikes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're a klutz  
> The Commander's saber is red  
> You have bad taste in men  
> But at least you're not dead

The next rotation cycle came around and the General was the one to ask if you would stay on as his secretary. You couldn't say no and you didn't really want to either to be honest. You stayed as his secretary for the next cycle. This time, however, you had more run ins with Commander Ren than you had ever cared to in your life. 

The first almost life threatening encounter you had with him involved you trying to stop him before he destroyed a very important console in the middle of a very crucial update. You saw officers running out of a control room that you'd been monitoring intermittently throughout the day. You gave one a quizzical look and one of them said, panicky,

"Commander Ren."

A flash of panic ripped through you at the thought of a raging Commander but a more deep dread settled in your stomach when you realized what exactly he was going to destroy. So, instead of running away, you plunged into the room. He was just turning away from an already sliced wall toward the console you were about to sacrifice yourself for. He was taking massive strides toward the console as you dashed to intercept. You stopped in front of it just as he was about to swing down. Your heart was beating out of your chest and all your brain could process was _Huge. Danger. This is where you die_. Your arm shot up and you grabbed his wrist. Your fingers barely wrapped around the leather clad joint and it took all of your body power to halt it but somehow you did it. It was centimeters away from your shoulder, the heat singing your uniform. He stopped pressing down with his hand but he didn't move as he stared down at you through his mask and you stared back up at him. His chest was heaving with breaths of exertion that were slowing by the second. You, however, were shaking a bit and breathing heavier as you realized what you just did. You were waiting for him to strike, to move, to throw you across the room, _something_. Finally, he wrenched his hand out of your grip and stormed away. Just...left. You sank down to the floor and just sat for a moment while a couple bridge officers ran over to check the console and check on you.

"Ma'am, ma'am, are you alright?" You nodded, waving the corporal off.

"Yes, yes, I'm alright. Thank you. Check and see what damage he did over there." The corporal nodded and straightened to join his comrades in checking the systems. You took a few more deep breaths while the only thing your brain could do was think, over and over, _how am I not dead?_

Your next encounter with him was having to run onto his ship and drag him with so you could stop poisonous gas from filling the hangar. You were waiting on the hangar floor for the Command Shuttle to land so you could greet General Hux and give him a report on happenings he missed in the past week. The shuttle landed and the hatch opened and as the General and Commander were walking off, there was an odd and very loud popping sound from inside the ship. The General quickly moved away from the vessel, unsure, but the Commander stopped and turned. As you watched him turn to look for the source, you realized what it was. You'd had the same thing happen to supervisor of yours during your basic training. They hadn't been fast enough to diagnose it however, so the result was more deadly. But you had been taught how to fix it. Your survival instincts and deep seeded need to keep others out of unnecessary danger kicked into high gear. You dropped your data pad and dashed onto the ship as the viscous looking, mostly transparent cloud started to form. You ran up the ramp, putting together your plan of action. As you passed the Commander you grabbed his arm and started to pull him with you. Surprisingly, he followed your lead. Once he was moving behind you, you let go. You didn't want to do anything to provoke further punishment than just touching the Commander in the first place.

"Grab a mask and close the ramp." You said quickly, taking a deep breath before you dashed to the source of the problem and dropped to your knees. You were just starting to feel the burn in your lungs when a mask was pressed over your face. You took a deep breath, hands still flying through the wires and switches. The Commander didn't strap it to you, though. He just held it with his hand. Finally, you were left with just the tubes. The penultimate step. You were almost there. They needed to be fused and the gas was getting thicker, you could feel it in your eyes. "I need your lightsaber." He hesitated only a moment before he pulled the weapon from his belt and put it in your hand. You positioned it and turned it on for only a split second before flicking it back off again. The tube had melded. You tried to stand so you could get over to the vacuum mechanism but your legs wobbled and you nearly collapsed to the ground. The Commander stopped your fall. 

"Where do you need to go." You raised a heavy arm in the direction you needed.

"Small, yellow box." Your voice was still strong. The gas affected the limbs first. He lifted you as if you were nothing and held you bridal style beside the box so you were eye level with it. If somebody had told you a few months ago that you would be cradled by the Commander of the Knights of Ren while you fixed malfunctioning heat sink piping, you would've given them the weirdest look. But, here you were. You pulled open the box and pressed the right buttons and punched in the security code. "That should do it." You said. Then you were out, quick as a light. The gas was sudden when it knocked you out. 

You came to on a stretcher in the hangar. You sat up, gasping, scrambling. The Commander's modulated voice sounded to your right and you looked up at him, still unstable.

"You did a good job." Relief washed over you at his words, a feeling never thought you would’ve gotten. You sighed, 

"I did it?" He nodded.

"Yes. Another few seconds, it would seeped into the air vents." You smiled and looked down at your legs which were still numb. You had done it. You'd actually saved the day. "What are you thinking?" The Commander's voice suddenly grabbed your attention. His voice was odd, the question coming out strained and almost desperate. You furrowed your brow in worried confusion.

"What?"

"Right then. What were you thinking?" You licked your lips.

"Um, I was just thinking about how...uh, how I actually _did_ it?" It came out a question because you didn't know what he wanted. That seemed to satisfy him though, for a moment. Then he grumbled and turned, walking away. That was...odd. So odd that you didn't even have a scrap of an idea about why he wanted to know what you were thinking and why he was frustrated. Your head started to hurt so you stopped thinking about it, focusing instead on the pins and needles in your legs as they came back to life.

The third thing that happened was by far the most frightening and, once again, by complete chance that he was there when it happened. You had been in Engineering sector 3, getting a report and then making a report of the report for General Hux (a necessary evil, unfortunately) when you got a message that you were needed for urgent happenings on the bridge. You had learned that this was code for _Rebel Movement Detected_. You passed the Commander’s office on your way to the bridge and you were only a few steps past his door when he emerged. His fast strides caught up with you no problem bht once he was in step with you, he didn’t speed up. He didn’t say anything and there was about three feet between you, but he stayed at your pace. Your mind was racing with what this might’ve meant but you didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about it. Suddenly, there was a deep and unsettling boom and the ground jolted violently. You instinctively reached out to the Commander for stability but the shockwave even caught him off guard so he was falling down too. His mass took you with him. He landed in his back and you fell half on top of him. Your hand was still clutching the fabric on his arm and his hands instinctively moved to your waist. Whether to throw you off or pull you closer, you didn’t know. What you did know, whatever his intentions, was that the feeling of his absolutely huge hands on your small waist and his massive chest underneath you caused a special kind of flutter in your chest. He was still the Commander though and trying not to get killed by him was priority number one. You let go of his sleeve and muttered, 

“Sorry, sir.” He didn’t have time to respond or do anything before there was a groaning crack. You flipped around, one of his hand and forearm trapped under you as you rolled off of him to look up. Panic filled your veins. There was a very scary looking crack in the ceiling above you. You both stared at it for a moment before you started moving away from it. That was the moment it chose to give way, rapidly shooting out thousands of small spider cracks as it advanced toward both of you. Your reflexes weren’t fast enough but the Commander’s were. His arm tightened around you, bringing you back to his chest as though you weighed nothing more than a slip of paper. He rolled you both up against the wall and he moved so expertly, so smoothly that you’d have thought gems done this before if you didn’t know any better. He was now on top of you and as you heard the sound of the ceiling coming down, your instincts told you to wrap your arms around his neck. You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your face into his shoulder, the cold of his mask on your cheek as the dura-steel and concrete fell down. There was a stabbing pain in your arm but you could deal with it. The noise of collapsing construction finally stopped and you slowly tried to open your eyes. It was dark and you could feel the pressure above you but there was no dust to irritate. 

“Commander?” You whispered, worry ringing your voice. You heard a hum from the vocoder. “Are you okay?” You asked, still a whisper. 

“What are you thinking right now?” His voice was softer, like he was murmuring as well. You paused. You were thinking about the Commander’s body on top of you and his head so close to your neck and face. But instead you said simply, 

“My arm hurts.” You felt him begin to move and shift. He shifted a certain way and you gasped, “Oh, _ow_ , my arm _really_ hurts.” You were becoming more aware of what the pain was. “Sir? I think there’s metal in my arm.” He stopped moving.

“Can you tell how deep?” 

“I...” you slowly began to move the arm the didn’t hurt, feel along the injured one until you found it. You made a desperate, pained sound. “Through...through, sir.” He didn’t say anything. Instead you felt him take a deep breath and then you felt pressure from above start lifting away and then light. The debris was moving off of both of you until you both fully exposed to the light of the hallway. 

“Can I move?” He asked. You lifted your arms very slowly until there was a sharp, searing pain. 

“That’s all I can move, sir.” You said, strained. He planted his hands beside you and slowly moved out of the ring of your arms. He lifted his head and you were now able to see what was wrong. A sharp shard of metal had pierced your arm and it was bleeding, the blood dripping onto your chest now. You could see the glint of the corner that had made it all the way through. You looked up at the Commander. His mask was trained on the wound. You knew you were both thinking the same thing. If you hadn’t put your arms around him, the metal would’ve gone deep into his neck. His mask moved to focus on your face. “Sir, I...um....” 

“You need medical assistance.” He said, jumping in. You nodded. Yes. That was what you were going to say. In truth, you had no idea what you were going to say but what he said worked. Hs stood slowly and looked out before raising his hand. The rubble in your way parted, clearing a path. He stopped down. “Can you stand?” You nodded. 

“Yeah. Just help me up.” You paused. “Please sir.” You tacked on as an afterthought. He grabbed your waist and lifted you, once again as though you were only a rag doll. He placed you on your feel and you cradled your arm, other hand holding the metal so it didn’t shift and do anymore damage. You started made sure you had your balance before walking swiftly out of the carnage. You joined the group of officers that had come to the edge of the site and the medical team swarmed you. They had you sit down by the wall as they took the metal out. The Commander talked to the General and he didn’t quite yell but hit was firm and louder than usual. Very frightening. But your eyes were glued to him as you watched his hulking black frame even bigger than usual because of your position on the floor. He had saved you and you had saved him. His mask turned to you while he continued his tirade. You clenched your jaw and swallowed, looking away after a few seconds. You watched as the medic stitched up your now numbed arm and wrap it in bandages. When he was done he told you how to keep it clean and care for it but you were barely listening to him, more focused on the Commander’s gaze. You could feel it latched on your face and, despite yourself, your cheeks colored as you remembered his hands on your waist and his body on top of yours. If only it had been in another situation...

You were sent to your quarters to rest for the of the day. General Hux was adamant that you took it easy for the next week as well. Being along in your quarters was the last thing you wanted though. Because that meant you were alone with your thoughts and your thoughts presently were swirling with Kylo Ren. You sighed as you laid on your cot and stared at the ceiling. You allowed yourself this once to think about the Commander. You told yourself just this time and that was it. Then you had to stop. Your mind wandered to every detail you'd noticed in the brief time you were close with him. First, his height as he had walked beside you. He was a foot taller than you, at least and he seemed even bigger because of those robes and that mask. Then, the strength of his chest as you laid on top of it. The deep breaths and the gloved hands that encompassed your whole waist, further comparing his size to yours. Your hand started to slip down your body as you moved on to his body on top of yours. A suffocating presence but you could breathe easy and fine, his chest there to push back with every deep breath. You could see nothing past his frame and the warmth that had emanated from his chest as you hid your face in it. Your fingers began circling your clit, gathering wetness that had gathered from just thinking about his form. His gloved hands were planted beside you and his masked face was so, so close to your neck, your ear, your lips. You imagined his breathing and you imagined his torso and his hips and you just imagined his crotch and the feeling they might give if they had dipped down and pressed against you. your fingers worked harder and you were feeling the crest coming. Then you imagined the vocoded voice you hated and loved at the same moment murmuring in your ear, _Cum_." You obeyed the imaginary voice in your head. As you got lost in the waves of pleasure, there was a pressure between your eyes. It was overpowered by the feeling from your fluttering clit but it was still present. As soon as you had finished, though, the pressure was gone, just as fast as it came. Maybe it was your body telling you not to masturbate to Kylo Ren anymore. You decided to just think of it as that. You rolled on your side and closed your eyes, trying not to focus on how much your arm was beginning to ache as you let sleep take you.


	3. Can't Catch A Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break. Sort of.

After the reactor incident and your encounter with the Commander that your mind had made a huge deal about, you tried to keep your distance from him. For your own good. And you were pretty successful. For the next few months while your arm healed and you worked with more trust from the General, the Commander was away on a lot of missions and when he wasn't away and was on the ship, you were usually busy in places where he was scarce. However, your accident frequency seemed to increase, though they were significantly less life threatening than the one's you'd experienced with the Commander. 

You had coffee dumped on you one morning by a new recruit that lost his balance and you had to unbutton your uniform top and holding the front away from you so you weren't scalded and that event was incredibly embarrassing, one you wished you could have sucked from memory so it didn't resurface every now and again, reminding you how unlucky you were.

You had a prisoner you were helping book flip out and try to escape and he had seen you as the weak link. You were knocked to the floor by his sudden, erratic movements and he started to run over you but you managed to reach up and grab his ankle, pulling. He crashed to the ground but the steel toe of his boot still managed to hit you in the forehead. You swore and you sat up to punch his leg on a nerve just before the troopers were able to grab him again. You finished your task but then you had to go and get stitches in the med bay. The General had actually rolled his eyes at you when you re-entered the office.

You broke two fingers on the bridge when a Lieutenant not paying attention pressed the button to close the very compartment you were reaching into for a com-link to Calculations sector 2. The automatic hatch slammed shut with your two fingers in the way. You shouted and pulled your hand back to yourself, drawing attention. you inspected your fingers, quickly determined they were broken and they snapped your head up to glare at the Lieutenant responsible. It was satisfying as he made an expression that looked like he was going to wet himself as your steely green eyes bored into his, but your fingers were still broken. You looked up at the general, 

"Request for a medical break, sir?" He nodded, looking like he was suppressing a sigh. 

"Granted, Captain." You gave the Lieutenant a final dirty look before hurrying off to med bay.

Perhaps the most embarrassing accident though was when you tripped on your own feet and whacked your face on the door of your refresher. Everything else was the fault of others and you just happened to be in the line of fire. This one was completely your fault and the resulting black eye was quite the sight and it happened only a week after your broken fingers which only enhanced the embarrassment. And on top of that, the semester physicals were coming up. Funnily enough, the only time you hadn't been hurt on ship was when you had been working out so you were in pretty good shape. And good for you because even if you signed up for the last day of physicals, you would still be working with a not fully healed hand. It would be fine though, you were sure. To avoid any serious embarrassment, however, you did sign up for the second to last day and the last time slot. You hoped there would be fewer people and a superior you rarely interacted with monitoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was so short- it was just kinda filler for time passage


	4. Grrr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other women are frustrating when they try to take the attentions of man that isn't even yours.  
> Also physicals suck.

But of course, that didn’t work. There were only thirty other people but the General was your supervisor. You sighed heavily to yourself as you dressed in the regulation fitness testing attire. You walked out to the track where everyone else was gathering, awaiting the arrival of your proctor. You laid down on your back spread eagle, staring up at the high metal ceiling. Just your luck

“Attention!” The General sharp voice suddenly barked. You startled and popped up, standing ramrod straight, eyes scanning for the red head. Unfortunately, when they found him, they also found the mask of Kylo Ren just to the side. You'd avoided him for so long and there he was. Staring right at you. Your cheeks burned a little and you cast your eyes downward, swallowing nervously. How after so long without seeing him, did he still give you this feeling? It wasn't fair. “You all know there are seven tests we have to get through so let’s make this orderly and efficient.” There was a pause. “Are you with me, Captain?” The General snapped. You jumped and moved your eyes back to him, where they should be. _Damn him_ , you cursed in your head. _Why'd he have to call you out like that when he already knew you were going to struggle?_ The Commander shifted a bit and the helmet tilted to almost imperceptibly to the side. 

“Yes sir, sorry sir.” You responded. He sighed minutely and there were a few snickers. You clenched your jaw.

“Find a partner.” Everyone paired up because they’d all signed up with a buddy or three, as per the norm. You were one of the last ones to pair up but, luckily, it was someone you were a acquainted with. He was a tad chubby and usually that wouldn’t be tolerated but he could (just barely) pass the fitness tests and he was a genius. In his case, his intellect was too beneficial to the First Order to kick him out because of some fitness tests. You and him had spent many late nights together doing calculations and notes for big projects and he was one of the only people to graduate above you in the academy. He was a sweet person.

“Hey Lewis.” You smiled. He gave you his cute little grin, the dimples on his cheeks appearing. 

“Don’t make fun of me too much, okay?” You laughed a little. 

“I should be saying that to you. My hand is still fucked.” He shrugged. 

“Well, still, compared to you I’m gonna be the absolute worst. But it’s fine.” You stood beside each other and waited for the command to go. 

“Partner 1, get ready.” The General ordered. Lewis got down first. You looked down the line to see that the other Partner 2’s like yourself were the more physically fit of the bunch. Fantastic. It's not that you were intimidated, you were fit, you just didn't like open competition and that's basically what this was. Everyone was aware of the little pay incentive if you met the peak physical requirements. You didn't need it or care about it but it was there for everybody else. “You have one minute. Go.” Everyone started doing push-ups. Lewis did the bare minimum, fifteen, then sat up. You waited for the minute to finish and the General to call it. Once you didn't have to count Lewis's pushups, you carefully moved your eyes to Commander Ren. He was looking down at a female Lieutenant from HR. You knew her last name to be Covey. You caught a smirk on her face from your angle that proved she knew the Commander was watching her and a frown etched itself onto your face. The General gave the order to switch and you looked away, brow furrowed, the frown still present. You got down in push up position. You hated pushups but you weren’t bad at them. The General said go and you went. You continued at the same pace the entire minute, losing count. The General called it and you sat back, looking up at Lewis. 

“How many?” He had an annoyed eyebrow quirked. 

“Forty five.” Your mouth popped open. 

“Oh...” You didn't realize you'd done that many. Well that wasn't inconspicuous. Great. You had completely zoned out and the sparking upset in your chest that you couldn't quite identify had pushed your performance further than what it would've been normally. You stood up and the General had started walking down the line, getting names and recording numbers. He got to Lewis and he told him the number. The General wrote it down, no questions asked. Then he looked at you. 

“Captain L/N, forty.” He looked at you. He blinked at you. And you wanted nothing more than to curl up into a little ball under his penetrating gaze that he gave no on else but you. Not to mention, the Commander was still standing in your peripheral, sending your emotions for a ride already. The General moved on after what felt like forever but was probably no more than a second or two. You let out a long breath of relief, the farther away from you he got. Then it was time for sit-ups. You held Lewis’s feet and counted his twenty sit ups in the one minute. While you did, your eyes involuntarily drifted over to Lieutenant Covey. The Commander's gaze was on her once again and she still had that infuriating smirk. A small piece of her long blonde hair had escaped it's ponytail and it drifted, shining like gold under the fluorescents, across her lightly flushed face. _God damn it_. Soon it was your turn and it went about the same as the push-ups except this time, your number was sixty eight. The General gave you the same look he did last time and this time the Commander was looking in your direction. Heavens, you hated the attention in front of everyone but boy did you want someone's attention in private... You were shaken from your thoughts as the General announced loudly the movement of the group to the pull up bars. There were three heights available. Groups of three went up for a minute each, the General ordering starts and stops. You were in the last group so now, of course, everyone would be watching. Lewis went before you did and he did three which wasn’t bad. When the General called for the last three to go, you headed for the short bar. But the tallest guy of you three pushed pas you and stood at the shortest bar. Then the other guy too the medium one. They both gave you shit eating grins and you shot them dirty looks as you stalked to the tall one. You stared up at the bar and sighed. You looked to the General and he was staring at you with one impatient eyebrow raised. 

“Is there a problem, Captain?” You swallowed then steeled yourself.

"No sir." You said simply. You turned to look at the two guys and scowled before walking to the pole that supported the pull up bar. You climbed it smoothly and efficiently and once you had your torso hanging over the bar you turned again to glare down at the two men, making a face that was equivalent to sticking your tongue out. The General called the start and you dropped down to begin. You thought about what assholes men could be and did twenty five. Works like a charm. Two better than the other two guys you were doing the rest simultaneously with. Your victory was short lived though. You let go of the bar but your fingers moved wrong as you did. You gasped as you landed, sudden pain searing through your fingers and down through your wrist, causing your balance to falter. You fell over onto your ass. Of course. You cradled your hand to your chest as you hissed in pain. Grimacing, you looked down to inspect if there was any visible damage. Under the brace you had on, you could see some swelling and purple beginning to blossom. Fucking great. But, the next test was something you were a tad more graceful at and it was the second to last test you had to do. You stood on the sidelines next to Lewis, waiting. And then the General called you out sending a heavy brick of dread straight to the pit of your stomach.

“Captain L/N, why don’t you go first.” You turned and looked him with pleading eyes but it was too late, he’d already given the order. You sighed inwardly and went over to the starting line. For this test, you had to sprint a quarter mile as fast as possible and, while it wasn't difficult for you, it was individual. You waited for The General's go, crouched in ready position. The General made eye contact and pressed the clicker. You took off in an instant, sprinting easily. You reached the end line and skidded to a stop, turning to look at the General. "Well done, Captain. Forty seven seconds." You gave a small smile, victorious. That was your personal best. You paid absolutely no attention to the other runners, walking away to get started early on your ten minute break before the one and a half mile. You walked across the area to get some water. You went into the locker room and as you got water and sat for a moment, you were thinking. Thinking about The Commander and how, right now, at this very moment, he was probably watching Lieutenant Covey run, watching her long legs and that little wisp of hair. You furrowed your brow. No. You wouldn't believe it. You were just making things up. He would never be interested in a person from HR or you, for that matter. This whole rivalry you created in your head was stupid. You took a deep breath. Yes. You were fine. You had figured it all out in your head, you were set straight. You went back out to where most of the group was finished, waiting for the last few. You found Lewis and sat on the artificial grass with him. 

“You ready for the one and a half mile?” He asked. You nodded.

“Yeah. I just want to get it over with.” The ten minutes went by quicker than you wanted though. You stretched and tried not to focus on Lieutenant Covey giggling with her friends or the Commander, instead working on the small talk Lewis was trying. All other thoughts were pushed to the side though as the General called the ten minute break. Only two groups this time and you were going to go with the last group. You smiled encouragingly at Lewis. You scanned the group despite yourself and realized that Covey would be running in your group. Though you'd made up your mind about everything, you decided you could still try to beat her. Just for your own sake. Lewis's group finished and you bid him goodnight as you lined up. Covey was a few people down. You took a deep breath and focused. Then the start sound came. You were off. Distance was your specialty so you were fast. You had absolutely no trouble beating her or the rest of the group and as you finished, a selfish pride swelled in your chest. You'd bested her somewhere. You looked to the sidelines and your gaze shifted from the General to the back of a retreating Commander. There was a pang of disappointment in your chest that he wasn't watching your victory but you suppressed it. It didn't matter. He didn't matter to you. You started heading for the locker rooms when the General called you over. 

“Yes sir?” 

“You may sleep in tomorrow, Captain. Come in an hour later.” You furrowed your brow. 

“Why sir?” He answered without looking at you. 

“You’ve done well today. And it’s been a while since you’ve been given any reprieve.“ You nodded as he finished. 

“Oh. Thank you sir.” He grunted. 

"Mm. You're welcome. And you need to get your hand checked again." You were almost touched that he had noticed your discomfort but you knew it was just him wanting your full efficiency.

"Yes sir." You said before you walked away. Most everyone had already cleared out and once you had your duffle bag over your shoulder you headed towards the med bay. You were walking through mostly deserted hallways when a movement to your left caught your eye. You turned and wished you hadn't. The Commander was there but he wasn't alone. He was following Lieutenant Covey. And they were in the wing of officers quarters. You sped ahead, not wanting either of them to see you. You weren't stupid, you weren't naïve. You could assume exactly what was happening. And it sent a vicious thrill of anger through you. _Fucking HELL,_ you yelled in your head, frustration boiling over.There was a sudden pressure right between your eyes that felt a little familiar. But it was fleeting, only lasting a half a second. You walked into med bay and you were short with the nurse as she x-rayed and reset your hand, the whole time your mind elsewhere, dwelling. You were frustrated at the Commander, at the Lieutenant, at the Commander and the Lieutenant together and yourself for even thinking about it and caring in the first place.

You tossed and turned in bed, resisting the urge to masturbate because you knew Kylo Ren would inevitably pop up. But eventually, you drifted off into a restless sleep.


	5. Don't think About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not very good at keeping your emotions under wraps.

You found it very difficult to work near Commander Ren after that. But it wasn't a conscious choice. In your head, you convinced yourself that you didn't care and it was none of your business and nothing you should concern yourself with. But your reaction to him was involuntary. 

The day after the physical, he waltzed past you into the General's office and you felt yourself bristle involuntarily. You waited with bated breath from your place by the file cabinet until, as always, the General called you into his office. You walked in and stood beside the Commander, being sure to leave a few feet of distance.

"Captain, the Commander needs the report of supply excess from Techelli." You licked your lips and then, instead of spouting off the report you already knew by heart as usual, you turned on your heel. You walked out of his office and to your desk and thumbed through the folders on the edge of your desk until you found it. Then you walked back in and held it out to the Commander while you stared at the General, annoyance clear on your face. He took it. Then you left. Not once looking at the Commander. You went back to what you were doing at the filing cabinet. 

"You managed to piss off the only woman who gives a shit about you." The Commander's voice said, tinged with amusement. You grit your teeth. 

"It was nothing I did." The General snarked back. The Commander hummed then said, 

"Must be that time of the month then." You slammed the file cabinet shut and left the office. You wanted another cup of tea.

You avoided the Commander for the next few days and it was pleasant, your bad mood fading. Until you were standing on the bridge, running through diagnostics on your datapad. It's usual work, an everyday thing and the General was only a few feet away talking to a Captain about the rear thrusters. You didn't hear the footsteps as he approached but at the sound of his vocoder beside you, you straightened like a board, arms going stiff at your sides. You turned and walked away. Like someone had flipped a switch. You went and finished the diagnostic reading at your desk until your datapad dinged. It was the General. 

**Captain** **L/N**

**I need you for my surprise inspection of the hangar. Meet me there in five minutes.**

**General Hux**

You just knew the Commander was going to be there. You just _knew_ it. You sighed as you stood and headed toward the hangar. You entered the massive space and spotted the general and the large black mass that was Commander Ren. You headed over, walking swiftly, steeling yourself to deal with the prolonged exposure. You came to a stop beside the General. 

"Good, Captain, you're here." You nodded once and then fixed your gaze on the corporal of the two engineers in from of you. 

"What's your service number." You asked, voice flat and all business. He spouted it out and you typed it into the datapad without looking while you shifted your eyes to the female ensign who was clearly new, clearly young, no more than 19, and clearly had not been in the presence of the general and the Commander at the same time. 

"Name." You asked in the same tone.

"Juno, ma'am." A small smile tugged at your lips.

"Last name, dear." Her cheeks flushed a brilliant red.

"Herschel, ma'am." You nodded.

"How many orders have you worked so far?"

"Five, ma'am."

"Successfully?"

" Yes ma'am." You looked back to the corporal.

"Satisfactory site training, Corporal. Take us to your Lieutenant, please, so we can go over your semi-quarterly order-fulfillment rate." He nodded, a small smile coming to his face.

"Right away, ma'am." He turned and started walking, his subordinates flanking him. You looked at the General and he gave you the smallest looks of praise. That was enough for you to follow behind, the General and Commander right with you. You arrived at a terminal where a tall woman with straight black hair stood, looking over the screen. She saw all of you approaching and stood at attention, her eyes glued to the General. You came to a halt, her subordinates moving to stand behind her. 

"Commander Ren, sir." She said, barely sparing him a glance, which you could relate to. Then her eyes slid back to the red head. "General Hux." She practically purred. You waited for her to acknowledge you but she was too busy eye fucking the General. You were really sick and tired of woman flirting with your superiors. You cleared your throat. Her eyes flicked down to you. "Ma'am." She said before her gaze snapped back to the General. Your lips curled and you felt your right eye twitch just a bit. 

"That is Captain L/N to you, Lieutenant. I hope I won't have to find your report myself while you continue to eye fuck the General." Her eyes went wide at your vicious words. 

"Captain, I-" You cut her off. 

"Report, Lieutenant." She swallowed and glanced at her three superiors nervously before turning back to the terminal.

"Right away, ma'am." The General side eyed you and you could feel the Commander's mask on you but you ignored it. You just wanted to get this over with so you could go back to wallowing in your self pity and resume chastising yourself for allowing feelings to affect your job. _Fucking hate today,_ you said to yourself.That weird pressure between your eyes as that thought ran through your head. But, just like last time, it was gone as soon as it came. Weird. You listened to what the Lieutenant had to say and scrolled through her numbers while the General asked the two lower officers some simple questions that gave him a judge of morale on board and the Commander looked around broodingly, inspiring fear. Finally, you stepped back.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Keep up the sufficient work. But flirting and fraternizing with superiors is prohibited." Your eyes flicked to the Commander. Completely on accident, you didn't mean to, but he saw it, his mask dead set on you. You clenched your jaw and swallowed, holding the gaze for a few more seconds since he had caught you. Then you turned away. "Have a good day, Lieutenant." You said as you walked away. You went back to the office and slumped into your chair. _What_ was wrong with you, _god damn it_ , _what_ were you doing, _why_ were you doing it and _who_ the hell did you think you were? You finished up the day and then left for your quarters, flopping on the bed in defeat.

The universe didn't want to give you a reprieve though. It had been a week since you'd seen the Commander because he'd left ship to take care of some business somewhere. What you cared about was that you didn't have to worry about running into him for a whole week. You were still riding the Commander-free high when you walked onto the bridge one morning. It was the very beginning of the day and you were not prepared to handle the Commander talking to Lieutenant Covey on the bridge. Not at _all_. You barely managed to contain yourself as you passed them and went up to where you usually stood to do morning diagnostics. But apparently, you weren't as composed you you thought you were as you watched them out of the corner of your eyes because Lieutenant Mitaka broke your haze,

"Captain? Everything alright?" You blinked and focused on the Lieutenant. "Yes. Yes, everything's fine." _As long as that slut keeps it to herself on the damn bridge_ , you finished to yourself. but, once again, as you thought it, that pressure between your eyes happened again. And at the same time, you notice the Commander jerk in your peripheral. You turned your head slightly to see what he had done that for, only to find the eyes of his mask trained intently on you. You quickly looked away. Why had he looked at you? And why had he looked at you like _that_? You needed a distraction and fast. Luckily, the General came in. You sighed and showed visible relief as he approached. He gave you a weird look as he approached.

“Everything alright, Captain?” You nodded enthusiastically and beamed at him.

“Wonderful, sir. Just glad you’re finally here.” He narrowed his eyes and began inspecting your face.

“Did you sustain yet another head injury?” You sighed, a tad put out.

“No, General, I did not. Thank you so much for your concern.” Your voice was a but sarcastic and the General raised an eyebrow and hmphed before walking away. You blew a gust of air out of your mouth. You refused to turn around but your head was conjuring up all sorts of scenarios about their posture and what they were saying. You knew it wouldn’t be anything suggestive in such a public place but you couldn’t stop yourself. Those thoughts plagued you for the rest of the day until you laid down in bed and, just before you fell asleep you thought to yourself, _Why him?_ You drifted off with that minute pressure between your eyes.


	6. Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little tease

The next afternoon, you have to supervise the Command Shuttle’s launch. It meant you had to see Commander Ren but it also meant he was leaving for a bit. So it was all fine. You were fine. You were standing by the ramp, focused on your datapad while you waited for the Commander. The engineers had already performed the pre-flight check so now it was just on you to send the Commander off and tell him about the changing of handles on the dashboard to newer models less likely to stick or jam. You felt the rush of air as he passed you. You frowned at the back of his head for completely ignoring you but you didn’t say anything. You just followed him on board. You went into the cockpit with him.

“You’re expected at the Odeu docking station, they will not let you land after 1800 because of increased security measures because of nearby rebel movement. So if you have any other stops you choose to make before you get to Odeu, just keep that in mind.” You stared at the datapad the whole time so you didn’t have to look at him as he faced you even though you knew what you were going to say already. “And in terms of your ship, everything is satisfactory and as it should be with only one new addition, the engineers have changed all handles on the dashboard to a new model that’s still compatible and less likely to stick, jam or fail completely. That is all.” You nodded once with a finality and turned to leave without looking at the Commander. 

But his right hand shot out wickedly fast and landed on the edge of the wall with a loud think, keeping you from leaving. You still didn’t look at his mask, however. 

“Commander, I need to...” He slowly began moving in closer, backing you up to the wall, his body inches from yours as your sentence died away. Your head touched against the wall right beside his hand and you were completely trapped. You had nowhere to go. His other hand was suddenly on the small of your back and you let out a tiny little gasp, your eyes finally flicking to the eyes of his mask. He used that leverage to pull you flush against his body. Your breasts pushed against his firm chest and you could feel his hips collide with your lower abdomen. You thought you’d experienced desire before but this was something completely different and much more dangerous. He was intoxicating on a whole new level. You still resisted though. Your hands balled into fists, refusing to touch him no matter how much your chest, body and subconscious told you to grab him and not let him go until he had given you everything you wanted. You wouldn’t let yourself fall into that trap. Then his mask moved next to your ear and you could smell his soap and the musk of _him_ as he murmured, 

“Don’t miss me too much.”

And then he was off of you. In one movement he was two feet away from you again, leaving you with flushed cheeks and your body shivered slightly at the loss of his warmth. You stared at him as he sat in the pilot’s seat, eyes wide.

“Is there something else, Captain?” He asked. You were absolutely certain he had a small smirk under that helmet as he said that and the frustration spurred you to snap out of it and leave the shuttle. You closed the ramp as you got off, a small pleasure igniting inside you at the thought of shutting him in there and away from you. You walked back to your office. During the walk, the frustration at his smugness started to fade. It was replaced with desperate confusion at what he’d done. Why had he done that? What...what? What did this mean? Was he simply teasing you because he knew you’d been mad at him? But that raised a new concern. If the latter was the real scenario, how did he find out you’d been mad at him? And did he know what you’d been mad about? You sunk down in your chair once you reached your office, dread settling. This was going to be a very long however the Commander has to be gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short


	7. New You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Kylo in this but a bit of plot and a teeny tiny but of mystery at the end

The Commander had been gone for two and a half weeks and every night for those weeks you had cum around your own fingers, desperately wishing it was him instead. Every time you came, there was a pressure between your eyes, but it was becoming commonplace to you so you barely even noticed it anymore. Your evenings were stressful because you were never fully satisfied and your days weren’t exactly quiet either as of late. Some women in HR, _Of course_ , you’d thought to yourself, were signing a bunch of petitions and making noise about the female dress code. They wanted optional outfits for women including dresses, pencil skirts, and blouses. They wanted to show the power of femininity in the First Order and they had quite a lot of support. You didn't mind it so much because there was still going to be the option of standard shirt and pants for women so it didn’t have to affect you. The General had finally conceded after much pressure and a holo-meeting with other ship officials to get their opinion and approved some designs sent in. Well, he looked at them, you told him the cost and pros and cons of every style and he picked from there. Really, it was just a lot of paperwork and kicking some people in the ass to start manufacturing. Until the General decided to throw a wrench in your whole plan. He called you into his office as the uniforms were nearing the distribution date.

"Captain, I'm sure you're aware of the whole push for female image reform and the reasons behind it?" You kind of made a face, of course you knew, and nodded. 

"Yes, sir." 

"Well, I know in the memo sent out, it says that the new female uniforms are optional and that women will be allowed to wear the original standard uniforms if they please.” You nodded, unsure of where this was going. “You are the only exception to that. You have to wear the new uniforms.” You stared.

“Pardon? Sir?”

“You need to wear the new uniform because you’re my direct subordinate and a female and many other women in the First Order look up to because of your young age and higher rank.” Your mouth popped open. You couldn’t believe this. Images of the consequences of having to wear form fitting clothing began to flick through your mind, most of them involving Kylo Ren. No, you could _not_ wear the new uniform.

"General, I can't wear this. I...can't be efficient." 

"The heels are optional Captain, flats an alternative." Nowhere near the response you wanted. You stepped closer and lowered your voice, trying to bargain with what little you had to work with. You were already moving onto thin ice by blatantly arguing with your direct superior.

"It's not the footwear, sir, it's the fit." He looked up at you, staring. Then he set his pen down and folded his hands. 

"Captain. I don’t understand what your problem is." Your cheeks colored. Now you had to explain, there was no just backing out of this corner.

"It’s embarrassing to say, sir." You stalled. He raised a challenging eyebrow. You let out a huff. “Fine. It’s...the increased male attention, sir. I would rather not deal with any distracted officers.” Wow. Really smooth. He raised both eyebrows now, giving you a sarcastic look.

“L/N, you already distract many of my officers, you just don’t notice. If wearing a dress causes a few more to be distracted as well, so be it.” You were completely flushed red. You weren't at all thinking about your comrades, you were just using the general term so as not to raise suspicion.

“Oh.” Was all you could manage to say. The General sighed.

“Captain, you are a lovely woman and no matter what you wear, people will notice.” You looked down at your feet. Now you felt bad and embarrassed with just a swirl of butterflies in your tummy as a result of being complimented by your superior.

“Thank you, sir. Sorry I argued.” You mumbled before turning and leaving. 

You had one more day of normal uniforms and then the new uniforms arrived. You came back to your quarters late that evening and was greeted with a box of the uniforms. You unpacked six dresses, two of each style and the pair of skirts and blouses. It also came with flats, little heels and the higher stilettos. You could understand why the women would want a change of wardrobe but the stilettoes you couldn't really get behind. But you weren't go to knock it until you tried it, though. You tried all of them on to test the fit and you were surprised that they fit exactly as they should. Usually you had issues with dresses fitting you right but as you admired yourself in the mirror you blushed a little bit and smiled at your reflection. You hadn’t worn anything this flattering in a while and the idea of wearing it out was a bit thrilling, to be honest. You were sure the novelty would wear off but maybe you needed a little bit of personal admiration. Maybe that would get Commander Ren off your mind. Or at least, make him less of a priority anyway. He had been the only man to show you any extra attention in a long while and maybe that’s why you were having such a problem with him. Hmm. Yes. That must be it. You continued to turn this way and that, inspecting every angle and every curve and how it hugged you. You looked...sexy. It was so foreign to you, to look in the mirror and have the word sexy cross your mind. You'd gotten so used to just making sure you looked like a respectable officer. You completed the image and slipped on the stilettos. It was like magic. You were taller and looked so much more graceful even though you knew you really weren’t. You practiced walking in the tall shoes and felt very pleased with yourself when you got the hang of it fairly quickly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

You got around the next morning but decided to keep it simple to start. You wore the flats and the skirt and blouse combo. Taking it slow. You made yourself a tea in the cafeteria without any incident. You walked into your office after passing a few people but the twinge of nervousness in your stomach wasn't nearly as bad as you'd thought it would be. You felt pretty confident. You sat down and got started on report and sending out small updates and reminders to certain project heads that needed to contact you soon. The General came in as usual and headed to his office.

“Good morning sir.” You said in your usual cheery tone. 

“Captain.” He greeted before walking into his office. You smiled. Good, he hadn’t even noticed. You finished your office tasks before heading out to the bridge to do what was required of you there. You were over Lieutenant Mitaka’s shoulder until lunch time, working with him on a program that required two people to run smoothly. Simple, easy, and your back was to everybody the whole time so you didn’t have to see if anybody was looking at you. When it was time for lunch, you and the Lieutenant started to walk to the cafeteria together, exchanging pleasant conversation, until the General called out your title. You gave the Lieutenant a look the General couldn’t see.

“I’ll see you later, Mitaka.” You called him by his last name to appear professional and he made a face of sympathy before continuing on. 

“Go to the office and order two lunches, I’ll be in there momentarily.” You didn't know what he wanted but you knew better than to ask.

“Yes sir.” You went to his office and sat in his chair to order two meals from his data pad so they would be prioritized. You had yet to get up out of his chair when he came in. 

“Comfortable, Captain?” You popped up and gave him a mumbled apology. You caught his little smile that revealed he was messing with you as you stepped around to the front of the desk. He sat down and you wanted to stick your tongue out at him so bad. “Sit down.” You did. 

“Starting Thursday, a new project is going to be launched and it will require much of your personal supervision and contribution. I am giving you advanced notice so you can clear your schedule from Thursday until the project is finished.” You nodded. 

“Of course sir.” He nodded. 

“Good. And the new uniform. How is it?” You shrugged. 

“Adequate, sir.” He hummed. 

“Good. No more complaints then.” You looked down at your lap.

"Sorry, General." He sniffed.

"No need to apologize, just refrain from doing it again." You heard a beep at the door and you got up to grab the lunches. You walked the General’s sandwich to him as he accepted it he said, "Captain, what is your first name?" You looked at him, a cold spike rushing through you. You hadn't yet encountered a person in the First Order who wanted to know that information. Just your luck that the person to ask you is someone who could simply order you to tell him. "I would look in your file but...I felt I'd ask. To be courteous." You licked your lips, the smallest of smirks coming to your face.

"My first name isn't in my file." He tilted his head a bit and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Why? And how did you manage that?" You grinned. 

"I'm good at my job." He frowned at you.

"Did you use this position to-" You cut him off.

"I joined the academy without a first name, General." He watched you, thinking.

"Again I ask, why?" Mischief sparked in your eyes. You could have fun with this.

"Names are an intimacy. A weakness." You turned away and went to your desk to eat your grilled cheese and tomato soup, smiling to yourself. Ha, now you had something to hold over the General. In terms of amusement at work, things were looking up.


	8. Fine Then.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's back

You stayed with the flats, skirt and blouse combo for a few more days, still easing yourself into it. It was going quite well though. You secretly enjoyed the gazes that lingered on you just a bit longer than usual from both men and women you passed. The day before you would be stuck on a project the entire day, you decided to wear a dress and the stilettos. Might as well try it out before you'd be stuck sitting for hours on end. So, Wednesday morning, you put on your favorite dress option and slipped on your stilettos before heading out. You made tea as usual but did not escape the line without noticing a few of the men present checking you out. You brushed it off though, it was fine. Every woman that wore the new uniform most likely had the same problem. You walked into the office and got started with the tasks for that day. You were pleasantly surprised to find that you could reach the top drawer of the filing cabinets with ease. Heels were quickly rising on your list of preferred footwear. Even with the heels you weren't _tall_ by any means, but they at least made you the average height of women in the First Order. You were ruffling through a stack on your desk when the General came in. 

"Good morning, Captain." You looked up and gave him a quick smile. 

"Good morning, General. Um, do you happen to know where that quarter three expense report from general engineering four is?" He nodded. 

"Yes, it's in my office. I grabbed it yesterday while you were gone and I forgot to put it back." You smiled a little more genuinely now, relieved you didn't have to redo the entire thing. You stood after the General and followed him into his office. He grabbed the file off of his desk and turned to hand it to you but he froze as soon as he was facing you, eyebrows flying up to his hairline, eyes flicking over your figure. You waited for a second but still, nothing happened. You hesitantly stepped forward, very confused and a little weirded out to take the file. You stepped back again, hugging the file to your chest. 

"General? Are you alright?" He sighed sharply, moving his eyes back to yours.

"Yes. I just seem to have a shared weakness with my subordinates for you in a dress." A heavy flush came across your cheeks. You were completely speechless, mouth popping open as you looked up at him with wide eyes. Never in a million years would you have ever thought you'd hear those words from General Hux. It was so...unprofessional and personal.

"Sir...I'm...sorry?" you didn't know what he wanted from you but that's all you could muster. Then he laughed. Actually laughed, the first time you'd ever heard it.

"Only you would apologize for being an object of desire, L/N. Don't." _That_ a lot to unpack but he turned away and continued about his normal routine, forcing you to do the same. You continued with your day, spending a little more facetime with the General than usual in preparation for the beginning of the project. It was a little awkward at first because you kept catching his eyes traveling along the line of your figure and you kept thinking about what he'd said but you got used to it and stopped paying attention after a while. You ate your lunch sandwich while walking between your office and the General's until the General told you to stop.

"Take a break and eat the other half of your sandwich _sitting down_." You grumbled but obeyed. You went and grabbed your other sandwich half to sit down across from the General. You were quiet at first, thinking about this and that.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"What's your first name?" He looked up at you. You were suppressing a smile. You were turning the tables on yesterday's conversation.

"Why would I tell you that?" You shrugged.

"Might be important someday." He raised an accusatory eyebrow.

"And me knowing yours wouldn't be?" You shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Well, sir, I'm just a secretary. My name doesn't mean anything." He clenched his jaw as his sharp eyes narrowed, considered you. You smiled politely and stood.

"I'd better get back to work." You said. You turned to leave the office but stopped in your tracks. You quickly stepped back and moved off to the side as the Commander entered the office. And just like that, your good mood was torn to shreds and stomped on by the boots of Commander Ren. He wasn't supposed to be back yet, you needed more notice, you couldn't handle this without anytime to prepare yourself. 

"General Hux, I require an audience with you." His tone was slightly sarcastic as he used to the formality. Stars _above_ , that _voice_. You need to get out of that room and give yourself a pep talk before your knees wen weak with need for the man in black before you. 

"I'll leave now, sir." You said quickly, hoping you could just slip out before they could say something to catch you. But a sudden, 

"That won't be necessary," from the Commander stopped you. You looked up at him. His mask turned to you. "Stay where you are." You had no choice but to obey. You stood holding your hands in front of you and standing with body language that clearly said you wanted to take off running. 

"What is this about, Ren?" 

"I need to review the roster for the mission scheduled to leave Saturday morning." 

"Why?" The General countered. 

"I need to make some adjustments." He said simply, as if that wouldn't give you a bunch of extra work. You let out a small huff involuntarily. The Commander slowly turned to you.

"Is there a problem, Captain?" His head was tilted and you just _knew_ he was teasing you. _Bastard,_ you thought. There was that pressure between your eyes again and he rushed forward. One of your feet stepped back for balance as you had to bend slightly backward to avoid him as he crowded you. "How about you say that out loud?" A cold, dreadful feeling seeped through you. Did he...? No. No way. That wasn't...that wasn't fair. But...could he read your mind? You'd heard he could do that but you'd never had any proof. A sudden frustration at not knowing and the possibility of him actually having that ability overtook your mind and spilled out of your mouth.

"I've no idea what you're talking about. Commander." Your tone was biting. He moved faster than you thought possible, his hand around your throat. You stared defiantly up at him until he said,

"You should know better."

His other hand reached down for your wrist and you couldn't pull away because of his grip on your throat. He held it up in your view, leather covered fingers wrapped around the, hilariously small in comparison, joint. He let go of your throat so you were solely focused on his hand and your wrist. He was still waiting and your heart rate was spiking with anxiety. Then he squeezed. You turned your head away and used the back of your other hand to muffle your cry of anguish as there was an audible crunch. Your knees bent slightly as your body wanted to sink to the floor and cradle the joint, but the Commander held tight on your wrist. He squeezed again and you gasped and let out a guttural sound of pain. You looked up at the Commander, breathing heavy.

"Shame." He said. "Any lover you have won't get to enjoy your hand for a while." He leaned in closer, murmuring for only you to hear, "And neither will you." Your eyes widened as a flash of arousal shot down your spine to between your legs. Lust for Commander Ren while he still held your shattered wrist in his hand was a new feeling in your chest that you never thought was a possible thing to have. He let go of your wrist and you grimaced at the black and purple blossoming where his fingers had been. "I want that report on my desk in thirty minutes. If I don't have it by then, I will break your other wrist." He turned and left. Just like that. He left you with nearly a month of sexual frustration only to come back and do _this_? No. No man, no sex, no relationship was worth this much trouble. The emotions the Commander evoked within you were unacceptable. You looked to the General, fury in your eyes before you growled and sped out of the room. You grabbed the roster off your desk and then went straight to med bay. Mercifully, they were fast at setting your wrist, giving the bacta shot and putting it in the brace. As soon as they were done, you were off, headed for the Commander's office. You entered at almost exactly the thirty minute mark. He was standing by a holo-table that displayed a battle plan. You dropped the roster on his desk.

"Here you are, Commander." You said, anger barely disguised in your voice. He didn't look at you.

"Come here." He said. You furrowed your brow and put your uninjured hand on your hip.

"How do I know you aren't going to break some more of my bones?" His immediate response sent a shiver down your spine.

"You don't." His immediate answer sent a shiver down your spine. Your breath forced itself out of your chest at his simple and dark response. Still, you slowly approached and stood a few feet away. You focused on the holo-table as he turned to face you. You felt him touch your broken wrist and you quickly snatched it away, stepping back, looking up at his mask with pained expression, a frown etching itself onto your face.

"Don't." You said quickly, panic ebbing at your voice. You just got it fixed and you didn't want anymore pain in your wrist today if you could avoid it. He stared at you for a moment before slowly raising his hand to gently take your wrist in his hand. He held your gaze as he turned your forearm so your palm was facing up. Then he looked down at your wrist. Your eyes flicked between your wrist and his mask, wary. It was taking every bit of you to not snatch your arm away with every little movement he made. He inspected your hand for a little bit. Then he let go of it and turned back to the holo-table. You tilted your head a bit and furrowed your brow. That was odd. If it had been any other person that'd done that, you would've thought it was remorse. But you knew better. Still though, against your better judgement, you asked,

"Commander? Are you alright?" You asked. His mask turned to you.

"Fine." He paused. "Tell Lieutenant Covey in Human Resources that her presence is required in my office." Wow. WOW. The _audacity_. You glared at him. You wanted to say you couldn’t believe it but of course he would do something like that. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before turning. “And that was an order.” He called just before you left. You'd really had it with today. You went up to the HR floor and found the Lieutenant. She was sitting at her desk, typing away about who knows what. 

“Lieutenant.” You said as you came to a stop beside her desk. She looked up and her eyebrows raised a bit.

“Captain? L/N? What are you doing here?” She looked up at you with those big, blue eyes and _stars_ did you want to hit her.

“The Commander requires your presence in his office.” She smiled a little bit and stood. You watched her brush over her clothes with her hands, smoothing out any creases.

“And he sent you to tell me that?” You narrowed your eyes at her.

“Clearly.” You snarled. She smiled a bit more and held her head a bit higher.

“Yes ma’am, I’ll go there right away.”

She started walking and you watched her go. After today, your lust for the Commander was waning fast. He was just...an ass. Those single, isolated events when he showed attraction toward you would soak your panties all the way through if you thought about them too much, but they weren’t enough. _He doesn’t want me? He wants her? Fine. Better that way anyway._ The pressure between your eyes appeared as you firmly stated that to yourself. You rubbed your forehead with the heel of your hand. You headed back to the General’s office.

“Sir?” You asked as you walked in.

“Yes?”

“Can I have the rest of today off? Please?” He scrutinized you for a second before nodding once.

“Yes, Captain. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Have a good rest of your day, General.”


	9. Go Away

Thursday morning came too soon. Your wrist wasn’t as sore as you thought it would be but it certainly wasn’t pleasant. You had to take a pain pill and you took a bit of time to ice it before you went into work. You'd survive though, you’d certainly had worse. You put on a quarter sleeve dress so you didn’t have to fit anything over the brace and struggled to put your hair up but managed something that would be sort of acceptable if the General was in a good mood. But then you had to get through the beverage line. You were trying your hardest to be fast with the machines but it wasn’t going well. 

“Oh, look, L/N’s gone and had another accident.” Your cheeks flamed but you didn’t turn to see who said it. Then leather fingers crowded into your vision, taking over the controls and the cup. You turned, starting to say something but then your mouth clamped shut, a deep frown etching itself onto your face.

“Go away.”

“Somebody has to speed up this line.” He responded flatly through his mask. Your upper lip curled with disdain.

“Don’t break my wrist then.” You said, pushing his hands away from your cup so you could grab it. “And leave me alone.” You walked away, brushing past him. You felt his eyes on your back as you left but you didn’t care. Maybe you should’ve been more respectful, him being your superior and you were in a public area and all, but you were really over him today. You walked into your office and set your cup down. On your desk was a new document that hadn’t been there when you left yesterday. On it was a note. And it wasn’t from the General. You huffed. It was that damn roster and the Commander wanted you to take care of the changes he’d written on the note. Great. You decided to get that done immediately, before the General came in. You grabbed your datapad and sent out notices to the people concerned and then went to the flight bay and informed the pre-flight loaders of the changes in supply and people, all of which took about thirty minutes. Then you typed up a revised roster and headed toward the Commander’s office. You walked in and halted instantly. Lieutenant Covey was there, leaning on the desk, looking at the Commander who stood by the holo-table. They both looked over at you. You stepped up to his desk and placed the paper down. 

“The revised roster, Commander. As requested.” Your eyes flicked to the Lieutenant and then to the Commander. You tried to hide it but there was a certain defeat in your eyes. No matter who it was or what had happened, it still hurt to be shown you were the lesser option. 

“Captain.” The Commander called. You shook your head no as you turned away.

“I have to report to the General. You’ve already made me twenty minutes late. Have Lieutenant Covey do your errands for you next time so I’m not hindered.” You said all of that with your back to him. You pressed a button to close the door behind you once you were out of the office. You took a deep breath as let it out slowly as you walked. There. You’d said your piece, told him to leave you alone twice today and now you were headed to busy yourself with work for the rest of the day. Perfect. You walked into the General’s office. 

“Good morning, General. I apologize for my tardiness, the Commander requested me for something." You said with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. The General looked up at you from his chair, eyebrows pulling together as he inspected you.

“It’s 0700, why do you look like you’ve already run through a full workday?” You shook your head.

“It’s nothing, sir. Don’t concern yourself with it.” He hummed, not really believing, but also not willing to dive into that.

“I want you to work in here today. Do whatever you need to do, but stay in my office while you’re working. It’s still highly classified and I’d rather you be here than out there. Less distraction.”

“Yes sir.”

“I have the necessary numbers and data for the project,” he placed a hand on a rather large file folder, “Once you’ve collected your essentials and are ready to start.” You nodded and went to grab your calculator, a few pencils, a water bottle, a notepad, your glasses and, of course, your thermos. You went into his office and set the things on his coffee table. You grabbed the folder off of his desk and got started. You sunk down to your knees carefully on the rug and laid out some sheets of paper and grabbed your notepad. You sat mermaid style and started scribbling some things down. It was all tedious prep work before you actually started doing real work and it would take you all day. You kicked off your heels and took out your sorry excuse for a regulation bun after too many wisps had escaped. You instead braided it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a little better than the bun because you didn’t need to make a fist to braid. You hung up some papers to a magnetic board the General had wheeled in for you. The General came in and out as the day went on but you stayed in roughly the same spot. You were both quiet when he was sitting at his desk until, suddenly, the General said,

“Captain!” You jumped slightly.

“Yes sir?” You asked, concerned and confused at his sudden outburst.

“Please stop biting your lip. It’s... _very_ distracting.” You blushed but smiled a bit.

“My bad, sir. I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” He sighed a bit and rubbed his temple and you chuckled. The day was really quite peaceful overall and it turned out to be already five o’ clock when you were nearing the finish line for the day. The General had gone to eat dinner and monitor the bridge so you were alone in the office and you figured you would be for the last thirty minutes or so of work you had left. You had stood to reach up and hang some things up on the magnet board. Then suddenly, hands wrapped around the base of your ribs. You squeaked and your arms shot down to close tight over the hands to restrict their movement. It was complete instinct to react that way- you were ticklish right there. You were about to say something and turn to see who it was but the cold metal of a mask pressed against your cheek.

“You know, I’m really enjoying the new uniforms.” You closed your eyes and set your jaw. You would've preferred that _anyone_ else in the galaxy was behind you.

“Don’t touch me.” You said forcefully. He moved his hands down your stomach and over your hips to rest on the very tops of your thighs.

“Push me away.” He said. And _oh_ , did you want to. You wanted to shove him and slap him and tell him that he was a downright jackass but you couldn’t. Your body, deprived of real pleasure for so long, would not push away the object of it’s most recent desire. He chuckled darkly.

“That’s what I thought.”

His thumbs began to brush up and down, tease the skin just beside the front of your panties. His hands pushed you so your body molded to his behind you, his crotch pressing against your lower back. His hands smoothed back up from your thighs to feel across your stomach and side and up to your breasts. They cupped your comparably smaller breasts, his thumbs moving over your nipples through the many layers of fabric. Despite that, they betrayed you and hardened at the touch. You let out a breath and your head fell back against his shoulder, your hands moving to grasp his wrists.

“I’ve barely touched you.” His voice was a low rumble. “I wonder what you’d do if pressed my lips to your jaw, your neck, your shoulder. If my bare fingers traced along your stomach and hips and tighten gripped your legs, spreading them, spreading you, open for me...” Your knees were weak and his hands were still slowly massaging your breasts, taking your breath away. You reached back with your injured hand to grasp at his bicep as best you could.

“Commander, I...” One of his hands left your chest and held onto your wrist gently. You felt him move it to his helmet and press it against where his lips would be if the metal wasn’t in the way. You shuddered. And then pulled away. You turned to face his as you back away a few steps. “Don’t do this.” You said. “Don’t do this to me.” _While you’re with Lieutenant Covey,_ you said in your head. There was the pressure between your eyes and he tilted his head.

“She really bothers you.” He said. It was a question but he said it as more of a statement. You frown and look at him with those same defeated eyes as you had earlier in his office.

“It bothers me that you’re involved with her but still continue to tease me like this.”

“Hmm. _Involved_.” He seemed to turn the word over in his head. “No.” He said simply. You made a face.

“I’m not stupid nor blind. As long as you’re fucking _her_ , you will not touch _me_.” You said with a finality. He stared at you for a moment longer before turning and storming out. You sighed heavily and resisted the urge sink to the floor. You wanted to cry out of frustration but you didn’t. You finished what you had to and then went back to your quarters, flopping down on your bed and groaning into the mattress. God damn Commander Ren.


End file.
